Trying to Conceive? Here's What Nobody Tells You

The two-week wait feels like a lifetime.

Let's be real: remember sex ed in high school? They made it sound like if a boy so much as looked at you, you'd be pregnant by Friday. Slides of STDs, terrifying videos, and the constant warning: "Unprotected sex WILL lead to pregnancy."

Then you grow up, get married, find the right partner, and finally decide: "Okay, let's do this. Let's make a human."

And... nothing happens.

Month after month, nothing.

Turns out, nobody told us the truth about trying to conceive (TTC). So here it is — the stuff they don't put in the brochures.

1. The Myth of the "Instantly Fertile" Woman

First off, let's debunk the biggest lie: that getting pregnant is easy.

I grew up hearing about "Fertile Myrtle" — you know, the woman who gets pregnant from a stray glance. My mom had seven kids naturally, so I just assumed I'd inherit those super-fertile genes. Spoiler alert: nope.

Fitness trainer Anna Victoria shared her story of trying for nearly two years, going from chanting "A 2018 baby!" to "A 2020 baby?" with a question mark at the end. And she's not alone. The CDC reports nearly 11 percent of Americans experience "impaired fecundity" — which is a fancy way of saying it's harder than expected.

So if you're reading this and it's taking longer than you thought: you are not broken. You are not alone. And it's not your fault.

"If I'd bought stock in Clearblue Easy ovulation and pregnancy tests, I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in Florida by now."

2. Welcome to the Alphabet Soup: TTC, BFP, CM, OPK...

Remember when you thought learning a new language was hard? Then you start trying to conceive and suddenly you're fluent in acronyms.

Here's your cheat sheet:

• TTC: Trying To Conceive (congrats, you're here)
• BFP: Big Fat Positive (the holy grail)
• BFN: Big Fat Negative (the monthly heartbreak)
• CM: Cervical Mucus (yes, you'll become obsessed with this)
• EWCM: Egg White Cervical Mucus (the good stuff)
• OPK: Ovulation Predictor Kit (aka the pee stick you'll become best friends with)
• DPO: Days Past Ovulation (you'll count every single one)
• BD: Baby Dance (code for sex — because "trying" makes it sound like a chore, which... well, it becomes one)

3. Your Sex Life Will Never Be the Same

Remember when sex was fun? Spontaneous? Something you did because you were attracted to each other?

Yeah. Say goodbye to that.

When you're TTC, sex becomes a science experiment. You're not making love; you're "hitting the fertile window." You're not being intimate; you're "maximizing sperm exposure."

One couple admitted to sneaking off during a movie with friends for a quickie because it was "peak day." Another couple had to abandon their Christmas lunch attempt when a nephew pounded on the door needing the bathroom.

And the pressure? Oh, the pressure. Some men lose erections from the anxiety of "performance." Some women become so focused on having an orgasm (because they heard it helps conception) that sex becomes mentally exhausting.

Here's the truth from Dr. Jenna Turocy, an ob-gyn and infertility specialist: "Orgasms can help with movement of sperm through the cervix, which could theoretically increase chances. But they're not a biological requirement for fertilization."

So breathe. Or don't. Whatever works.

4. The Two-Week Wait Is Psychological Warfare

Between ovulation and your expected period lies a special circle of hell called the Two-Week Wait (TWW).

During this time, you will:

• Google "implantation bleeding" 47 times a day
• Convince yourself that every twinge means pregnancy
• Analyze your cervical mucus like a forensic scientist
• Take pregnancy tests at 8 DPO even though you KNOW it's too early
• See pregnancy announcements everywhere — the cashier at Target, your neighbor's cousin, that influencer who already has three kids

One woman described it perfectly: "Living my life in two-week increments became the normal thing to do."

And when your period finally arrives? It's a special kind of grief. Not just disappointment — it feels like your body has betrayed you.

5. The Myth-Busting Section: What Actually Works?

Myth #1: Lifting your legs in the air after sex helps sperm reach the egg.
Dr. Turocy says: "Sperm are very efficient swimmers. Gravity has minimal impact on their ability to reach the cervix." So you can stop doing that shoulder stand.

Myth #2: You need to orgasm to conceive.
Truth: Already covered this — not necessary.

Myth #3: Certain positions increase your chances.
Truth: Nope. Do whatever floats your boat.

Myth #4: Eating yams will give you twins.
Truth: Limited evidence. Eat yams if you like them, but don't expect multiples.

Myth #5: Cough syrup helps you conceive.
Truth: Not enough evidence. Skip the Robitussin.

6. The Emotional Toll Nobody Talks About

Here's the thing they really don't tell you: TTC can mess with your mental health in ways you never expected.

You might find yourself:

• Crying when friends announce pregnancies
• Avoiding baby showers
• Feeling jealous of strangers pushing strollers
• Wondering if something is "wrong" with you

And the comments from well-meaning people? Oh, they're the worst.

"Just relax and it'll happen!"
"My cousin tried for years, then she adopted and got pregnant immediately!"
"Maybe you're trying too hard."

Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop saying these things.

7. The "Unexplained Infertility" Club

After a year of trying (six months if you're over 35), doctors recommend seeing a reproductive endocrinologist. You go in expecting answers.

Instead, you might hear: "Everything looks perfect! There's no reason you shouldn't have conceived by now!"

Congratulations. You've just been diagnosed with "unexplained infertility".

It's the medical equivalent of a shrug emoji. And it's maddening because there's nothing to fix, nothing to target — just... waiting. More waiting.

8. Taking a Break Is Not Giving Up

After two failed IUIs, fitness trainer Anna Victoria and her husband decided to take a break. "We tried to just go back to being a normal, married couple. I can't say we were entirely successful, but it gave us the mental and emotional relief we needed."

Another woman, Veronica, shared a similar experience after a miscarriage: "We made the incredibly self-aware decision to take a pause. Don't feel bad if the pause ends up being longer than expected. It just means you needed that time."

Here's the truth: pausing is not giving up. It's honoring your emotional needs. And sometimes, that space is exactly what you need to heal.

The Bottom Line

Trying to conceive is a journey. And like any journey, it has unexpected detours, roadblocks, and moments where you want to pull over and cry.

But here's what I've learned from countless women who've been there: you are stronger than you know.

You'll learn more about your body than you ever imagined. You'll become fluent in a new language of acronyms and medical terms. You'll discover depths of patience you didn't know existed.

And through it all, you'll find your people — whether that's online forums, support groups, or friends who get it.

As one woman beautifully put it: "A group of 'strangers' who I will probably never meet have now become my 'best friends' when it comes to trying to conceive."

So here's to you, wherever you are in your journey. Here's to the hope, the heartbreak, and the resilience.

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🌺 tired moms sound the same in every language.
Have your own TTC story? Drop it in the comments. We're all in this together.